July 29th 2020 - It's Official I have Prostate cancer

 Well that’s it – it’s official I HAVE PROSTATE CANCER! I saw Mr Wilson who was certainly not all sweetness and light in his manner. “It is not horrendous”, was the best he could manage.

The tumour in my prostate is now confirmed and there was a sting in the tail. In the MRI scan an anomaly was spotted in my stomach close to where the main blood vessel joins it. They cannot identify what it is and this will require further investigation. This will be a PET scan which should be available in the next few weeks.

The rest of the conversation with Mr Wilson was certainly not very inspiring and pretty downbeat. I felt as if I was in a dream and did not really take too much in. There is a lesson here! – it might have been a good idea to have someone with me. The reality of course is I have cancer and although it is slow growing it is there and ultimately tit will be the death of me if it cannot be treated. Of course, I could decide to do nothing and, in his opinion, serious effects might not become apparent for two or three years. This is not in my make-up, however, and I want to get on with any form of treatment that will help.

Before any form of treatment can be determined, the result of the PET scan needs to be considered. Mr Wilson regarded radio-therapy as the most likely course of action. I will now be referred to an oncologist who will lay out the options available.

It seemed as if Mr Wilson could not wait to get rid of me – mind you, I wouldn’t be the one who has to inform patients that they have cancer with all the emotion that that stirs up. He introduced me to Sian who was to be the nurse specialist assigned to my case. Sian was very pleasant with a sympathetic manner and took me through the next phase of the treatment while filling in a form. I was given a very informative booklet about the various treatments.

To be quite honest I was desperate to get out of the hospital to have time to put my thoughts in order. Whilst I was rather expecting the diagnosis it still is a chilling experience. I am not a particularly emotional person but this shook me to my core. I would never show it to anyone else though!

When I got home, I made a few phone calls to nearest and dearest. This in itself is quite emotive but I had been determined right from the start that I would not be secretive about it. It is certainly not anyone’s fault or anything to be ashamed about – “shit happens”, as my old boss would say.

I have never actively asked for people’s help or support. I like to be independent but I have a feeling I am going to need all the support I can get.

Strangely my level of concern has dropped slightly now that I know what I face. What they find or don’t find in the PET scan is the big dark cloud that is currently hanging over me.