Almost three weeks since the biopsy. The wait is agonising and the worry level seems to increase as we get nearer the date when I find out the result. Of course, there is no actual date just a very loose “three to four weeks”. This makes it worse as the days tick by. Not sure how I will be told – a letter, a phone call or face to face. If it is by letter it could be ages if the track record is anything to go by!
Life goes on of course and for long periods my prostate
problem dwells somewhere in the dark recesses of my mind. Now and then it does
spring to the front and a feeling of panic creeps in before I tell myself
“don’t worry until you have something definite to worry about”.
I have decided that I will not be secretive about the issue
as some people are. I don’t go out of my way to tell friends and acquaintances
but if someone asks how I am I do divulge the current situation. I don’t want
sympathy particularly I just feel if someone else has similar symptoms it might
spur them on to get things checked out.
Rather morbidly I do find myself looking at obituaries to
see what age the people are and what they died off. The other thing that plays
on my mind is that my father died of cancer at the age of 69. It is hard to
banish these negative thoughts.
I decide not to ring the hospital yet – I will wait until
next week if I don’t hear anything.
Come on NHS let me know the score!
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