I have now got a definite appointment for the PET scan. It
will be on Monday 17th at 2.30 at University Hospital in Cardiff. This means
that the first appointment with the oncologist can go ahead on the 19th
as planned.
I must confess I have mixed feelings – the biggest part of
me wants to know the extent of the cancer whilst there is still a gnawing fear
of what terrible things the scan may reveal. It is like having a split
personality which does increase the stress levels. The other thing in a similar
vein is striving to make sure your public persona is positive and optimistic
when deep inside you are fearing the worst. This is the lowest I have been so
far.
On balance the sooner I get rid of the uncertainly the better but it does not stop me feeling terrified. I will know the grisly truth in six days time.
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